Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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