Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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