forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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