I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Let's get the cat blown out
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
