I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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