I think I died a long time ago.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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