it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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