I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
