my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
