I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
