So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
