my soul wont recognize me after tonight
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
