so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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