I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
