tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
