I just pynch a tree in the face
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
