I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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