Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
