i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
