he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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