We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
