you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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