i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
The Olympian is in my bed
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
