Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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