i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
