It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
