may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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