Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
soo... how was my night?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
