You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
