It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
