it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
