You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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