All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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