I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
