Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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