I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i believe in u and ur pee
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
