We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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