2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
