You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
