my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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