you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
