the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
time to smoke my breakfast
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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