Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
