new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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