we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
