She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
