I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
