eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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