it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
