FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I think my moral compass just broke
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
